Tuesday, July 5, 2011 . 7/05/2011 08:50:00 AM

It's been a long long while.

I'm starting to blog again because I'm trying to stop myself from tweeting too much. I've been seeing too many depressing tweets these days, so blogging might be a better platform to write out these pent-up feelings.

I don't know why, but ever since I started working, my days have been so lonely. Okay, I take back the "I don't know why". I've been working like a rescue worker during disasters. My weekdays are filled with work, then tuition, there's barely enough time for socialising. My weekend is also filled with work, although there's more time. But the fact that my weekends are more free, it doesn't equate that I get more time with my friends. The weekends is their precious time with their boyfriends. Their darling boyfriends. Oh wells~ I have to accept the fact that even best friends forever fall below their beloved one.

I guess it's jealousy working into me. I KNOW it's jealousy. It's because I see that my opinions are worth so little, and my presence doesn't matter. Even exciting plans were crushed, and replaced with uneventful ones. Sometimes, things don't even make sense.

But that's how love is, right? That "things don't make sense". It is also "blind", "deaf" and "mute". That's how it's always been. I haven't experience anything yet, but I've already given up. I'm not willing to give up my dignity to become a damsel in distress, with a knight who saves the day, albeit in nonsensical and unreasonable ways.

Nowadays, the point of having a relationship is to get married in the future. Look at the divorce rates now. I'm looking at my own mother, aunts and grandmother. They aren't giving me any good example as to why marriage is a good thing. Look at (majority of) the boys in my class. They're dickheads (yes, dicks for heads). I haven't met a boy whom I like good enough to say the word "love". Well, most of them usually give me one more reason to say "I hate guys".

And the ironic thing is, I have two brothers. They're probably the only guys I love (but I'm not saying it out loud in public, nor in front of them). The other ironic thing is, I have a crush. And he ain't looking this way. "Oh well~", says my cursed heart.

So all in all, I shall say, unless a dream guy really appears, my love life is dead. Probably for the rest of my life. And for now, I really don't care.