Tuesday, August 31, 2010 . 8/31/2010 11:09:00 PM
Taken from the blog of one of my best friends, icystatic.
Love you, Girl:)
My brothers aren't home for the night, leaving me to deal with Mum's menopausal bouts alone. *cries* I'll just keep my mouth shut so as not to, as the Chinese says, "Add fuel to the fire".
Today was an interesting day. I was contemplating whether to visit my favourite teacher in primary school, since it's just downstairs. And I had a feeling. I was still in bed, listening to the loud music from the performances of the Teachers' Day celebration. Until they announced the names of the organizing committee. My secondary school teacher, who's been MIA since she left my secondary school in Secondary 3, was announced last.
I think I literally jumped out of bed and switched on my laptop just to check whether that's the correct teacher.
Bingo!
And I followed Lil Bro to school, 'cause it's a tad bit embarrassing for a XX-year-old girl to enter a primary school. So I 'blended' in.
I got to have a short talk with my favourite teacher, who's been my idol since back then. He's always surrounded by so many former students. Well, he is a well-loved teacher. He's one of those teachers who's unforgettable.
Then I found my long-lost teacher :D Certainly gave her a surprise. Well, it was my primary school.
My Teachers' Day experience today is full of satisfaction!
Back to studying! Going for a lunch date with someone I haven't seen for ages. Going to school tomorrow too!
안녕히 주무세요!
Annyeonghi jumuseyo!
Monday, August 30, 2010 . 8/30/2010 11:35:00 PM
Hm... How should I put it? After reaching chapter 417 of Bleach, I'm glad that Ichigo is back. I'm glad that Ichigo looks cooler than ever (if before wasn't cool enough already). I'm glad that there's still some humor. I'm glad for the changes. BUT... I'm not exactly glad THAT THE ACTION HASN'T STARTED YET.
But then again, this is Bleach (well, and Naruto too). This is manga. They usually stop to build up suspense so people will read the next chapter. 'Business tactics', people would say.
Well, I will PATIENTLY wait for the next chapter. And then hopefully, reward myself after that hell of a Petroleum exam I have on Thursday.
Crossing my fingers for a good fight:)
おやすみなさい！ Oyasuminasai!
The WriterEllie Goulding
You wait for a silence
I wait for a word
Lying next to your frame
Girl unobserved
You change your position
You're changing me
Casting these shadows
Where they shouldn't be
We're interrupted
By the heat of the sun
Trying to prevent
What's already begun
You're just a body
I can smell your skin
And when I feel it
You're wearing thin
But I've got a plan
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer
Decide the words I say?
Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?
Sat on your sofa
It's all broken springs
This isn't the place for
Those violin strings
I try out a smile
And I aim it at you
You must have missed it
You always do
But I've got a plan
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer
Decide the words I say?
Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?
You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Interrupted
You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Interrupted
You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Interrupted
You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer
Decide the words I say?
Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer
Decide the words I say?
Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?
Labels: lyrics
Sunday, August 29, 2010 . 8/29/2010 09:55:00 PM
I just realized I haven't read the most recent Bleach and Naruto chapters. I'm amazed. Exams stress has made me forgot something that's in my routine since I was that schoolgirl many years ago.
And I would have been really excited for the latest chapter of Bleach, since it's the chapter that Ichigo comes back in action after a few chaps of being MIA. All the most I'd have read it ASAP when I know that Ichigo punches the invincible bad guy in the face during the 'bad guy speech'. About Naruto... I forgot what happened already... I guess I'm losing interest in it all over again.
I'll read it tomorrow. After my study session in school tomorrow.
I hope that the FC tomorrow will be quieter. I don't mind the students' chatter, but I'll mind the construction noise that I had to endure last week... Those never fail to get on my nerves.
晚安。
Saturday, August 28, 2010 . 8/28/2010 06:22:00 PM
I miss my piano.
I miss playing Sonatinas (aka The Spider Song, Raurau) on it.
I miss playing my simple renditions of Simple Plan and Green Day and Final Fantasies.
I miss playing it when I'm happy and sad and angry and frustrated and depressed and delighted.
I miss creating funny music on it to make people laugh.
I miss getting lost in my music.
I just miss my big black and white baby...
Somehow I can't understand the world right now.
I can't understand why people are more sadistic now and LOVES to watch other people suffer.
Is there no sense of guilt? Or conscience?
Is the heart already withered? Gone?
They're probably too blessed already. No, 'blessed' shouldn't be the word. They're too lucky.
But who am I to say? They probably have gone through some tough journeys. Although it's not tough enough if their heart is still the size of a microscopic virus.
Well, I'll pray for those sad hearts they have. After I meditate to calm myself first. And if I manage to forgive them.
My heart has already been broken too many times, so don't expect me to be so kind anyway.
Thursday, August 26, 2010 . 8/26/2010 09:35:00 PM
I think exam stress is kicking in already. I may not be entering as many entries as before these few weeks, so... yeah.
I really wish I can pass, but with what's in my brain right now, I have to face the truth.
Selamat malam, dan tinggal yang baik untuk saat ini.
Good night, and good bye for now.
Disclaimer: I'm not fluent in this language and am using Google translate for this, so if there are any grammatical mistakes, please forgive me.
Gute Nacht!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 . 8/25/2010 12:21:00 AM
Okay. My upside down mood has kinda been turned upright.
I can have a good night's sleep now.
¡Buenas noches!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 . 8/24/2010 09:02:00 PM
FRUSTRATION TO THE MAX!! Damn. I shouldn't have eaten the watermelon yesterday. I'm having my allergic reactions... Damn eyes, damn stomach, damn tingling sensation, damn shaking fingers.I so hate my supervisor today.
He called my group mate rather late to change the meeting time to an earlier time. AN EARLIER TIME! When I live a BLOODY ONE HOUR AWAY, unlike my group mates.
Then, after the frenzied hurry to school, he CHANGED the meeting time back to the original time-slot!
Thank goodness that he was satisfied with what we have currently, or there'll be more curses going through my head while I'm sitting right in front of him.
Monday, August 23, 2010 . 8/23/2010 11:08:00 PM
With one of my favourite singers condemning the internet now, with some valid reasons, I thought it's time I really need to curb my internet addiction.
Anyway, I'm using less of facebook already. Facebook is too public, too open, and I really have to be careful what I say. I don't like the restriction. Whereas twitter is more private. But I still need to cut down on my usage of twitter too.
I like to surf the net. I like it too much. And I really need to curb it.
Anyway, I have some stuff to do.
Bonne nuit, les gens!
Sunday, August 22, 2010 . 8/22/2010 10:59:00 PM
I'm in a rotten mood.
Well, there's that impending 'Time of the Month', so it's expected.
And I'm having a splitting headache, but I'm forced to face this thing right in front of me.
I'm heading to bed now. Just before midnight. A miracle in itself.
Ciao e Buona Notte.
Saturday, August 21, 2010 . 8/21/2010 11:54:00 PM
I'm so depressed now. No, "depressed"'s not the word. "Down" should be it. But it's not strong enough either.
Okay, I'm moping in melancholy...
...
...
I need a coke.
I'm feeling down from touching my lecture notes. I'm really not interested in studying. I can't stand reading things that I don't understand. Really. I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark...Labels: lyrics, One-Liners, quotes
Mothers, no matter how close they are with you, are bound to annoy you at certain times of the month.
I'm certainly annoyed with my mum today. I got woken up with a phone call scolding me all the way... when I haven't had a good night's sleep since she got rid of my bed and I had to sleep on the floor. All these nights, I haven't been sleeping before 3am, and that's no matter what time I wake up.
I'm too damn bloody tired to argue with her. And I definitely don't want to erupt the simmering volcano within her.
Friday, August 20, 2010 . 8/20/2010 11:07:00 PM
Ichigo's coming back in the next chapter!
Okay, I know it wasn't too long ago that we last saw him, but...
He's not my favourite character for nothing.
And probably the only one that makes me go fangirl on...
Duck is gonna scold me for going crazy over a non-existent guy...
Thursday, August 19, 2010 . 8/19/2010 11:27:00 PM
I still like you.
Should you worry, or not worry?
Just read something that's heartbreaking on facebook. That's so close to home.
Unhappy marriages are painful. Having to deal with illnesses are more painful. Having to deal with the above plus the people you're gonna leave behind is even more painful.
I may not know how that feels, but I'm witnessing it first hand.
Oh Oreo, Oreo!Wherefore art thou, Oreo?
Deny thy twist and refuse thy milk.
Or, if thou wilt not, but sworn to doff thy's life,
Then thou shalt be in my tummy.
What? I'm hungry. And the oreo's flashing at me:) You know, if I dwell so much on my looks, I probably would be living a depressing life.
That's why, I've learnt to embrace my physical flaws. And fixed some of them so I feel good too.
My longest physical flaw would be my need to have my glasses on all the time. The glasses would also be the reason why I wasn't a very cute child. But really, but after nearly a decade and a half, I wouldn't feel comfortable without it. And I thought I look better with my glasses. Heh!
Next would be my acne. I just have to tell myself it's inherited, and it's not as though I'm alone on this. It's already said that 90% of the world experience acne. Anyway, there're ways to cover up, and I take very good care of my skin, even if it doesn't want to cooperate. Wait a few more years.
Skinny. It's annoying that pants and jeans would threaten to drop, but a lot, and I mean A LOT of girls would rather that than them not fitting. I guess I shouldn't be complaining about this, but I am trying to gain weight, although still not exactly working. I'm glad I'm thin, really. Because I can wear clothes that others wouldn't want to. And I dare to.
And then, there's my teeth. It's extremely crooked, overcrowded and weak. Crooked because it's overcrowded. Weak because I'm allergic to milk and my substitutes are rather pathetic. To eat cheese everyday can be quite a scary thing. And let's not start on the soya milk. Oh well, I can't afford braces anyway. Anyway, it isn't really that bad. I just have it crooked. Some people don't even have teeth that are aligned properly. Or have no teeth at all. I can still smile. And I have my mother's smile. I'm grateful for that.
My hair... before I rebonded it, it was pretty terrible. My hair was dry and frizzy and I had natural waves, which despite people thinking it's a lucky thing, really isn't when it doesn't curl in the 'right direction'; as in, in the SAME direction. I love the straight hair I've been keeping for months. Oh yeah, I had my previously long hair chopped off for a chin-length style because 1) I was getting annoyed with how much time I had to settle my hair every morning. 2) Bro has been convincing me to cut them short since who-knows-when. 3) Well, I was frustrated and stress with life then.
It had been a decade since I cut my hair that short, and I had to mentally prepare myself for the cut. Well, it's worth it anyway.
It's pretty funny that after so many hairstyles, and a colour adventure, my best friends would go, "Your hair forever change one."
Anyway, my point is, don't let your flaws get in the way of living your life. People tease just because 1) They have flaws of their own that they can't embrace. 2) They have nothing better to do. 3) They're sadists and have no heart and obviously not taught values by their parents (or maybe are taught but just decided to ignore them). They're not worth your time.
Just remember, they'll always be people who love you just the way you are. Accept your imperfections. Everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE, has imperfections. If you really can't accept them, change them in small little ways. Don't do any drastic changes that harms your body. Believe me, it'll cause you more pain than cheer.
"You're beautiful," tell yourself that, and remind yourself that. Tell that to everyone else too. It'll make their day.
Every girl needs to have a crush on someone like Captain, someone unattainable.
It gives them something to be happy about.
~ Raye of the Sunshine
Labels: quotes
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 . 8/18/2010 11:27:00 PM
I swear I will not touch my laptop until 8pm, and that's when I'll start my projects and more projects.
I will not touch my laptop.
I WILL NOT TOUCH MY LAPTOP.
At least, until 8pm.
Labels: quotes
Oh no!! My best friend's birthday is coming up!!
Oh no!! I have no idea what to get for her!!
Oh no!! Oh no!!
I need to get to the shops!!
I hate this breathlessness that's haunting me at night...Seems like if the floodgates were not opened for a long time, once open, it won't stop flowing for a long time.
After the crying from a tearjerker movie, whenever I yawn, tears would fill up quite a bit more than usual.
But I don't regret watching that movie. It's been a while since I cry so badly. Ehe...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 . 8/17/2010 05:42:00 PM
I hate storms. Hated when I was young. Still hate it now.
Back then, I hated the thunders of storms. Now, I hate the lightnings of storms. And the rain and the winds.
Storms are always good metaphors for bad things. Heartbreaks, disasters, crisis, sadness...
It'll be like this:
lightning - the heart breaking.
thunder - the feelings; the anger; the sadness; the devastation.
rain - the tears.
howling winds - the cries.
Black rain clouds - The hiding
This is my interpretation. If anyone don't agree, it's up to them. It's entirely up to everyone's interpretation.
I thought about all the friendships that were broken over the past few years, and there's this particular friendship that was always teetering on the line. Probably because I'm a girl and he's a guy.
We were never close back when we first met. Or the few years later. We clicked later in secondary school. How, I forgot. Maybe it's because we have an interest in anime and manga. Or I had a bigger interest in them back then. Or maybe because we had parent problems. Or he had parent problems while I was having parent problems. Either, we had long conversations in chat windows that goes for a few hours.
He was a best friend and a brother to me. To be honest, I've never had a crush on him, despite the many teasings we got at reunions and when I'm out with friends. But he's still a person dear in my heart.
How did this friendship dissolve? I really can't remember. But it's probably my fault. Although I can't remember.
To head to school every two days... It's rather tiring. My schedule is going rather haywire...Monday, August 16, 2010 . 8/16/2010 11:20:00 PM
Cooked my own dinner... Which is just soup and some potatoes. It's expected that I'm hungry now and munching some oreos.
After finishing the drama, which, despite the many predictable and cliché plots, is rather enjoyable, I feel the urge to sit down at my desk and write some lyrics (writing music is hopeless for me though). But that has to wait. Exams are my priority right now.
I think I might just end up going back to my Oh-so-Black era. I still feel the most comfortable with black attires compared to colours and whites. It's boring, yeah, but it's personal comfort.
Eating and singing made me feel better, after that bout of fever. Although I'm still not at 100%, I chionging 110% for the exams tomorrow. I gotta pass!! I gotta score!! I don't wanna let myself down!!
And go for the private university course I'm eyeing.
Okay, better beware of my optimistic sides. They always let me down.
Fever!!
I said before... I hate being sick.
And I don't think I can bear to swallow paracetamol anymore.
Sunday, August 15, 2010 . 8/15/2010 11:11:00 PM
Huge headache now... But it's okay. It's nothing new.
I think I think too much. Yet, sometimes, I feel I'm thinking just fine.
Okay, I shall just say this bluntly.
I'm thinking like this.
If he's not interested, he's doing the right thing. Not leading me on. That's at least the kindest way out.
That's me, the pessimist. Always thinking of the worst.
I'm really tired. So damn bloody tired.
Well, it's time well spent with my family.
Tired... Gotta go to school early tomorrow to discuss stuff about my group's project plus seeing the supervisor.
Tired... It's tiring to deal with studies and projects at the same time. How do geniuses do that?
Okay... One episode and to the bed I shall go.
At the rate I'm reading Becca's blog, I might become a Catholic one day. Maybe.On a side note, with my piano-tic mood these days, this comes as a nice way to express life.
Saturday, August 14, 2010 . 8/14/2010 11:09:00 PM
I realized when I decided not follow the "swearing quota" I give myself, swear words start flowing out of my mouth like water from a waterfall; non-stop.
It doesn't help that Big Bro swears like a sailor. Okay, it's not as bad as certain guys in my class, but it's more often than I do.
I shall put my quota back. It doesn't feel right to swear so much. My cousins can't even utter the words "shit" or "damn", which I'm so used to using. I don't think they know how to use "What the hell" anyway. So I must be A BIT like them. But not as angelic as them. I don't think I can even get by a day like them. They carry the Bible everywhere!
I've had a very frustrating day. And I shall not describe it.Right now I'm frustrated with one thing. My laptop probably has a very bad wireless receiver. The moment my brother switched on his laptop, my loading becomes sucky. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't loading something halfway! And I can't access my email! Or fb or twitter!!
And although I like rock music, my brother is playing an extremely bad rock music while sing along with it. Mumbling along, rather, since I have no idea what the words coming out of his mouth are.
Major frustration!!
Vi... Cool... There's no point getting angry... Just patiently wait for the video to load... Patience is a virtue... Breathe...
A trip to college got me thinking. Quite a bit.
I actually thought of studying after poly. BIG NEWS!! Not what I'm studying for my diploma though. Something English or media or business or kids related. I'm really tired of dealing with Math and Science. Maybe because everyone's headed for the college route and I feel left out.
But I'm still thinking about it. Just let me think.
The other thing I was thinking about was relationships. I'm a teenage girl. Who hasn't been in one. So it's extremely normal for me to think about something like that. But it's funny though. It's probably because my friends think I'm a good listener that a lot of boy problems stories come to me. It's fine if I just listen, but really, I don't exactly know how to deal with them. I'm not complaining; in fact, I'm pitying myself. I'm just glad they find me trustworthy enough to share.
I'm not pretty, cute, smart, talented or anything, so I don't exactly have a 'story'. Am I allowed to dream?
Friday, August 13, 2010 . 8/13/2010 03:12:00 AM
Coming from a musical background (somewhat), I think I'm naturally attracted to musical instruments. Although I'm just skilled (well, maybe not so) in playing the piano, the keyboard, and maybe a bit of the recorder. And, because of a CCA I joined for a year back in primary school, the marimba (since it's just like a piano, just hitting the notes with sticks instead of fingers) and the angklung.
Through the years, through the many genres of music and the many songs, I've had wishful thinkings of "I want to learn this instrument." "This instrument" refers to the drums, guitars, classical, acoustic and electric, the accordion, violin, cello, flute, keytar, harp, and maybe more. This is all I could think of.
Okay, when I look at the list myself, I realized, other than the flute, I never really have an attraction to instruments that require me to blow into it. I never like the feelings of breathlessness.
But despite the straying of desire to play other instruments, I still love the music that piano creates. The many many genres of music it can create. Fast, slow, soothing, angst, creepy, happy... I love how I can express all these into music.
I still feel empty without my piano. I used to vent my feelings with the piano. Without it now, there's no other way to channel these feelings other than into my writings. I guess it's my way of substituting.
If you ask me to play the piano now, I'm a little rusty now. I have a tendency to forget what I'm playing halfway (usually without my scores). But I still love the feeling of my fingers running across the black and whites notes. It's refreshing.
Now just where can I find vocal lessons?
Here are some videos of my favourite songs to play. The book which they are from have already turned yellow, so you can imagine how many years have passed and I still love them. And yes, I do play at those speeds, sometimes faster.
And this one is the most memorable for being the song which I learnt all by myself (it's rare that I picked up a classical piece and learned without the guidance of my piano teacher then). I usually played it a little faster though (sometimes not a very good thing and I don't usually like to play fast songs).
This last one is extremely hard to find. The last one is already a piece that's popular with kids, but I still love it anyway. I finally found one that doesn't really involve kids(actually I found one with a middle-aged man, but there was that annoying violin playing behind him...), that make me feel that complex creeping up to me. This video though, I'll admit I don't play as fast as this guy, but it's still rather close, the speed. Mind you, this song takes up a good 6 pages in my book. The first two only takes to four pages, and the thirds takes only two.
Bruno Mars
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Labels: lyrics
Labels: quotes
Thursday, August 12, 2010 . 8/12/2010 11:43:00 PM
Damn. I'm stuck to the drama. But I'm watching it real slow. One episode per day. Real slow.
Don't blame me. My laptop takes forever to load videos (and that's multiple videos we're talking about right now).
And because I'm watching the drama, I've ended up listening to Korean songs, all the more with the songs Duck put in my hard disk beforehand. That's what you get when you have a friend who's Korean-Boyband-crazed.
Ohwells~ I still prefer female singers.
Sleep... I need to sleep this headache away!
I'm addicted to this song. And it makes me wanna watch the movie so badly! But there's no one to watch it with~Wednesday, August 11, 2010 . 8/11/2010 10:40:00 PM
“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”
~ Paulo Coelho
Labels: quotes
“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”
~ Paulo Coelho
"Life is suffering."
~Buddha
Labels: quotes
Becca's really my idol when the right quotes and pics come out from her. Just read a verse/scripture/chapter (I really don't know what is it called) from the bible. I'll just post the simplest meaning, 'cause I have no idea what's the significance of many versions of bibles... I think they're all of the same meaning anyway.
Matthew 18:15-20 [New International Version (©1984)]
"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.
For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 . 8/10/2010 11:59:00 PM
Labels: pictures
My eyes are extremely tired. I need to sleep, but I'm still doing leftover work. And I just got off from my part-time job. Fatigue is really an understatement.
Yeah, I'm blogging. It means I'm still alive (read last few entries if you don't know what's going on).
I've been cursing the entire day. More than a week's worth of daily quota's done in that few hours I was in the library correcting and finishing up certain stuff. I'm done with this quota thing. I don't curse that much in the first place.
I'm so disappointed in myself today. If I could do it, I'd have done it. I should have. Or should I have not? Either way, it's disappointing.
Don't think too much, Vi. Life goes on... even when the world stops.
My breathlessness is back. Maybe it's just a paranoid me who's not breathing properly.
Well, I'm just writing it here in case I haven't blog in a few days, that would mean I'm really ill, in hospital, in bed, whatever. Get the hint.
Okay, fine. I'm paranoid now. I do that because I haven't had a really healthy body in years. But I don't want to say anything to Mum, 'cause I'm afraid she'll get me to the polyclinic and the polyclinic might send me to the hospital. I haven't been hospitalized before and I hate hospitals. I heard breathlessness is treated as an emergency case. All the most persuading me not to see a doctor. Plus I don't think I can afford to see it anyway, seeing that my 'dear' father isn't sending our allowance regular enough.
Damn... there's still that amount of work to do...
Monday, August 9, 2010 . 8/09/2010 10:22:00 PM
My ABSOLUTE favourite part of the show!
"You spray her with a jet. I spray you back with a bigger jet."
I burst out laughing and purposely scrolled back just to watch the scene again. It's that hilarious! I'm loving these two guys more than ever!
National Day! A day of red and white:)
Although the performances are a little uninspired (read: boring) this year. And I thought the Idol finalists' version of the theme song (can't remember the title) was a whole lot better than Corrinne May's.
Parade and ceremony's still the same as usual... but do they really have to let the youth contingent use umbrellas instead of batons? UMBRELLAS!! My brothers were like demonstrating the marches using the umbrellas if it rained on the parade (that's us). Nevertheless, I miss being in a uniformed group whenever I watch the ceremony.
FIREWORKS!! I love fireworks. And this year, my neighbourhood is featured!! Oh, the fireworks display! Love it!!
Hopefully, next year's better.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!!
Must be the stress. I'm having a bit of trouble breathing properly. It's fine breathing, but it's like I can't breathe in enough oxygen to be comfortable. Now there's that uncomfortable feeling at the back of my throat, like I've just ran a marathon and there's the fatigued breathing and pained chest.
Not the first time, I guess. But it's the most uncomfortable.
When there's not enough air, my eyes start to tear. And when I start to tear, my nose starts to run. So you can imagine how I feel now.
And I can't sleep because of all these, plus one of the neighbours and their kakis are playing mahjong.
Headache now.
Damn it!
Sunday, August 8, 2010 . 8/08/2010 06:36:00 PM
I'm still trying to regain my writing form. As you can read through the last few entries, my writing style's been rather disorganized, which makes me dissatisfied.
I'm getting over the cyber-bullying incident weeks ago, with advice from a dear friend of mine. It's a blog. It's meant to be published to the public. It's meant for the whole world to see. Since it's my blog, why should I care too much about what others comment about it? I can care, but I've learnt not to put it to heart anymore. If it escalates to the point where it's not handleable, all I have to do is get my CID uncle to trace the source.
Anyway, I've always been careful about the content I post online, so it doesn't exactly endanger me. There'll always people who hate me, but there are more people who love me and cares, as can be seen by the people who defended me on my tagboard. I just have to learn to accept that fact. This is the world we live in.
Sometimes, I wished I've gotten into a religion. It's a bit late now though, since I'm not really into the idea of committing myself into one.
I've been a Buddhist, although it's because of the family rather than my own choice. It's a little useless, because till now, I don't know the significance of the religion. I only know the main figure in Buddhism is Buddha, and most of what I learnt in Buddhism was from my Secondary 1 History lessons! Now, when my family goes to temple to pray, I'd stay outside and get a suntan. And the only time I'd step into one is during Qingming, where great-grandma's urn is.
I've been more knowledgeable about Catholic Church and Christianity (Okay, I know they're the same thing, but I also know they're not the same thing. Don't ask.). I've been to Convent school and Catholic churches. I've been through masses and prayers. I've been to Christian churches. I've been through services. I've been through aggressive relatives and friends convincing me to go to church and become a Christians (not all, but you gotta admit some are really aggressive in pursuing). But nevertheless, I have friends who are Christians too. Oh, and I've read parts of the Bible too.
So overall, I know more about Christianity than Buddhism. But then again, I never got right into them. There was the momentary impulsive plunge into them at the lowest points of my life, but after that, I just couldn't handle the commitment. But because Christianity has always been around me, maybe, just maybe, it may catch up to me. It's already a habit for me to recite the Lord's Prayer when I'm afraid, or just simply need to pray.
Do I still have a crush on that person? I ask myself this everyday. I won't say "in love", because to me, "love" is a very big word. It's a word which indicate commitment, so I won't use it so lightly.
I'll admit, I fell for this person nearly a year ago. There were periods of waning feelings, but for now, I'd rather keep it like it is right now. I don't want to jump into something I can't handle and make blunders, which I'm known for.
I'm not like my classmates, who could openly pursue their dates (or rather, have lots of people pursue them). I'm extremely shy towards people and it takes some time before I could feel an attachment. Which is why I couldn't even tell people until it held on for quite some time already. And it's also why it takes so much time before I could pluck up the courage to talk to this person. Online. And in school, it takes a great deal of myself to say "Hi" and talk like a normal person. I think before that, my best friend has been tweeting and encouraging me (rather excitedly. LOL.) "GO TALK TO HIM LAH!!".
I still think it's funny how animated I can become with this crush. I remembered a time I couldn't stop blushing when the name's mentioned, I had a few accidents concerning my lunch when that person's nearby, and I think I become rather loud and brash suddenly. It's weird. I'm clumsy in nature, but I become EVEN CLUMSIER when this person's present.
I've heard stuff about this person in school. Gossips, rather. Who knew guys know how to gossip like that. I think and feel he likes someone else. Okay, I knew before I heard that, but there was this denial. But when it's out like that, it's kinda heartbreaking, and my brain was like chiding, "EPIC FAILURE" to me. Then again, those little warm feelings didn't stop. It's just hard to control how you feel.
I think I've been convinced by an advice from a best friend of mine. Pursuing a guy by 'sending signals'? It sounds funny, but I think that's how I'm doing it. Although I'm a bit apprehensive with this approach, since some guys can be rather clueless (by experience). And just WHAT am I saying, when I'm always the clueless one?
Sighs... the wonders of a teenage crush. And my teenage time is pretty much ending. There goes my teenage years without the experience of love(?)...
Ready to Love AgainLady Antebellum
Seems I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognized my own reflection, no
Scared of love, but scared of life alone
Seems I've been playin' on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it's time for me to let it go.
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again.
Just when you think that love will never find you
You run away but still it's right behind you, oh
It's just something that we can't control
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again.
So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I 'fraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready, ready to love again.
Labels: lyrics
Friday, August 6, 2010 . 8/06/2010 02:25:00 AM
I went back to my old URL. Not without removing my tag board. It's becoming a nuisance anyway, with all the spam it's attracting.
I'm supposed to do my work, but my brain's filled with cotton wool that's rather compressed and won't absorb anything. Big Bro's cold's passing to me. Bad. Really bad.
I'll just bring my laptop to school and cross my fingers on the deadlines.
It's a known fact I'm a Taylor Swift fan. She is the reason why I got started on songwriting, and I aspire to be like her.
She recently released her newest single, "Mine". And as usual, I took note of the lyrics. And this is the song that spoke volumes to me. The largest volumes.
Read on, and you'll know why.
The lyrics are a mix of internet sources and listening by ear. I've edited as best as I could, so hopefully they're accurate.
I can't wait for her album. Really.
Mine
Taylor Swift
Oh oh ooo o
You were in college working part-time waiting tables
Left the small town never looked back.
I was the flight risk with the fear of falling
Wondered why we bothered with love if it never lasts
I say "Can you believe it?”
As we’re lying on a couch
The moment I could see it
Yes yes I can see it now
Do you remember we were sitting there by the water
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine
Flash forward and we’d been taking on the world together
And there is a drawer of my things at your place
You learned my secrets and you figured out why I’m guarded
You said we’d never make my parents’ mistakes.
But we’ve got bills to pay
We’ve got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take yes yes
This is was I thought about
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine
Do you remember all the city lights on the water
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine
Oh oh oo
And I remembered that fight two thirty A.M.
You said everything was slipping right out of our hands
And I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street
Braced myself for the goodbye
'Cause that's all I've ever known
Then you took me by surprise
You said "I'll never leave you alone"
You said...
I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And everytime I look at you it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter
She is the best thing that’s ever been mine
Go on
Make it last
Go on
Never turn back
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Go on
Do you believe it
Go on
We're gonna make it now
Go on
And I could see it
Yeah yeah
See it now
Labels: lyrics
Sunday, August 1, 2010 . 8/01/2010 03:01:00 PM
I'm tired.
Tired of work.
Tired of people.
Tired of family.
Tired of dealing with money.
Tired of school.
I'm really tired of the life ahead of me.
I got inspired to finish writing this song that I haven't been able to finish.
But that's gotta wait until I'm done with exams and stuff.
Gosh! I miss writing songs so much!
