Tuesday, December 14, 2010 . 12/14/2010 02:19:00 AM

Pain is proof that you're alive. That you're human. And that you're not just a human shell.

Now, after writing that, I'm having a hard time thinking what to write next. 

Everyone experiences pain. Whether it's physical, or emotional. Regular or just once in a while. Big, small, numbing, sharp, blinding... they're all pain. 

While some people condemn others for cutting, think about it. Why do people cut?

I, from experience, had cut when I felt so much pain inside that I needed something more painful than that. So I cut myself. 

I don't have a boyfriend, nor do I have an abusive family. So why do I cut myself?

Several reasons, in fact. 

I have a terrible inferiority complex. I'm always thinking everyone around me, including my brothers, who despite being academically inferior to me, are better than me. All around, people are smarter, more capable, more sociable, prettier, and etcetera, than me. I'm not academically able. I don't deal with situations well. I'm rather introvert. And I'm not the prettiest creature around and have so many genetic features I can't fix and rectify.

Yup, as you can read above, the slightest hit to my confidence can be rather disastrous. And there's so many weakness in me to cause that. 

Then there's also that family situation. You know, the one when your parents... are not together? That hurts. A lot. It doesn't help that the mother was mentally and emotionally not stable, and that the idiot father had done so many stupid things at the same time. So there was too much pinned on the oldest child. I couldn't handle the situation well. And there you go, more pain and reason to cut. 

Think there's one more. Although there's supposed to be more. People. As the world modernized, there are more despicable people who really enjoys seeing others suffer. I call them bullies. I can't understand how these people enjoy their extreme schadenfreude. I guess being a victim of one of these people really demoralized me, even though I know I shouldn't be bothered. 

Oh wells.

I don't cut nowadays. Well, only when I have a relapse. But I'm thankful I don't have scars. And if I do cut now, I don't cut deep enough to let blood flow. 

Here you go, an entry to explain to those people who can't understand the reason that other people cut. 

Make the world a better place. You could just cause the death of others.