Thursday, December 2, 2010 . 12/02/2010 01:34:00 AM
Am I still in love?Since you can see the question, you must know that I'm confused right now.
I really like him. That nice boy who opens the door for girls, reads Naruto, and listen to lots of great music. That is despite him being younger than me (by months), and he's not drop-dead gorgeous (but still, in my terms, not bad looking anyway). But it's all right. Issues with ages is something I've come to terms with, and I'm not the prettiest creature around anyway.
But as usual, I've been heartbroken. Yet again. But if I were to say, this is the second real heartbreak I've had. The first being the time after finding out Father was cheating. It's something that just isn't easy to get over. Even now, I deny publicly about still harbouring feelings for him, but inside... you know.
Anyway, I'm not sure if I believe in love anymore. Between relatives and friends' parents getting divorces here and there and my somewhat idiotic parents' marriage hanging somewhere, it's hard to believe that love and marriage can last. It's just hard to believe that there's someone out there who would love me wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. I'm doubting I'll ever find love anyway.
I guess the yearning for a relationship is caused by being surrounded by friends who has boyfriends, and my curiosity. That's why I'm trying to curb these feelings. It just didn't feel right, when I know other 'wrong' factors are contributing.
And I'm guessing there's no teenage romance for me, since I'm already nearing that big TWO-OH.
