Friday, November 5, 2010 . 11/05/2010 04:14:00 PM

I really don't like studying. Hate it, in fact.

Then why the hell does one of my ambitions involve being a teacher?

Well, I'm hating what I'm studying right now. Even if I'm putting effort in, it's not enough with the geniuses (as well as some kiasu people) in my class. I'm still at the bottom. Guess that's something I really can't get over.

And damn it! I can't see the future at all. I can't see myself as anything. Not a chemical engineer. Not an office clerk. Not a teacher. Not a retailer. Nothing. It's all blank.

Maybe there's one, but it'll probably make people laugh. I want to be a mother (although when I think of giving birth...). And I want to be a good mother. A good mother also means being a good teacher, so that's my biggest ambitions.

But right now, I need to concentrate on other 'wants' too. I want to immerse myself in the English language and music. Right now, with what I have, it's not good enough to enter the world, so I'll continue pursuing them, after my graduation from this science diploma.

I hate studying Science and Math. But I WILL graduate by the end of this semester. I can make it. I won't let anyone stop me. They can't anyway. And there will always be others who are willing to help, whom I will forever be grateful to.