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Sunday, June 13, 2010 . 6/13/2010 12:01:00 AM

I have frequent bouts of depression.

And since I don't drink like the rest of my family (with the exception of my underage lil bro), I take a substitute, which isn't good for my body either. Whatever, alcohol kills you eventually. Why can't I take something that might kill me in years to come?

Too much sugar's not good for someone with diabetes, but most of the time, I need a coke to calm down. When I'm nervous, a can's in my hand. When I'm depressed, I'll drown myself with it. And then I'll probably feel unwell the next day, but I won't take any water to wash out the offending drink in my system. 

I'll be thirsty, and have a headache, and some sort of stomachache, but I don't care. I'll concentrate on that pain rather than the one in my heart. I'll tell myself I deserve it, that I'm destroying my body and killing myself so I'll die earlier. 

No one will know anyway. Even if they know, they'll probably laugh and make fun, "That girl killed herself with coke. How funny is that?"

What a comedic death.


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