Sunday, May 30, 2010 . 5/30/2010 01:25:00 AM

Have you ever complained about what your genes gave you? Fat hips? Small chest area? Big butt? I'm sure EVERY girl has gone through that stage.

And if a girl doesn't, she's probably a) very self-assured and confident about her looks, b) a girl who can't be bothered, c) have superior genes which doesn't give her any problems.  

I think most of my teenage years are filled with these problems, and I've guiltily admit to Mum, I feel bad complaining about these seemingly small issues compared to my studies and life. And she's the one who told me it's rather normal for a girl to do that. Hah! That should have crossed my mind earlier, since I practically spent my teen years in the company of girls, in an all-girls' school and is rather feminine compared to many girls I know. 

I'm always complaining about how thin I am. Most girls would whack me just hearing that. Well, I admit, it is a blessing to be naturally thin. And it is a REAL GREAT blessing that I'm able to eat whatever I want (just not those that I'm allergic to or too sugary stuff) and not gain any weight. I thank my grandma for that gene of hers. But it is a chore and worry that my waist and hips are not able to sustain my jeans, pants, skirts or whatever I was wearing on the lower part of my body. And even belts don't go thin enough for me, that I have to poke holes just so they fit (and look extremely ugly). Well, it's kinda complex, my relationship with my thinness. I like being thin, although sometimes I get frustrated with being thin, BUT I can't stand the idea of being fat, or being called fat for that matter (Now, which girl likes that?). That's probably something that I am of a typical girl.

Then, I probably inherited that not-so-great skin of my mother. I think my father too, since he had extremely oily skin too, but that's probably due to excessive smoking, poor hygiene and environment too. I have extremely oily skin, hence the forever-there acne problems of pimples and blemishes. I'm EXTREMELY jealous of the girls all around me, who all have fantastic skin that needs little skin products to cover. It's like I have "Girl-With-Bad-Skin" tattooed to my forehead. Really, I do my best to take care of my skin, read articles on how to take great care of my skin, wash my face twice everyday, try my best not to touch my face with my hands and many more. But acne problems stay and probably get worse. It's rather frustrating that others don't have to make so much of an effort and they have flawless (maybe not so, but good enough) skin, and here I am, pimples here and there. Even guys have better skin than me! How is that so?!

Last thing tonight, it's my glasses. I've worn glasses ever since I was a kindergarten kid. Means I have very bad childhood pics that I refuse to let people outside my family and close circle of friends see them. It's not my fault I'm born with infantile myopia that renders me short-sighted throughout my ENTIRE life. And having my retina stretched so thin that I'm not able to wear normal contacts, which is solely the reason why I'm still not wearing those dreaded hard lens (and I'm too poor to afford a pair anyway). Glasses cost a lot, and it took me more than a year to save on the pair that I'm currently wearing. Lasik is not an option unless it could guarantee the disappearance of my myopic condition. Not happening, since technology is not so up there yet. I always thought, guys like girls without glasses better. Seen it happen a couple of times already. How demoralising. And people probably thinks, "This girl is a nerd." But no, this girl isn't as smart as she looks (or what her dominant hand implies). Glasses are really misleading too. I'm blind. Just not as blind as what you think.  

Well, I can see the good in things. I just see the bad better. That's how much of an optimist I am.