Wednesday, February 3, 2010 . 2/03/2010 10:55:00 PM

Vi loves her brothers for making her smile on a bad day:)

There's so many things due! So many things to do and think I can barely breathe. Literally! Came down with chest pain today. This week is crazy! There's 5 projects/assignments/reports due!

All I really wanna do is sleep. And I can't afford to. I wonder how my classmates survive? I expected tomorrow to be all-nighter. My time-management is really bad, right?

I kinda like going to church meetings. And I was the very last person I'd expected to sit through a church meeting. I mean, before this, I didn't believe in anything religious. But it's the morals and teachings that inspire me to try and believe. I'm still trying to. My aunts and cousins are telling me to take it slowly, 'cause I've never been to something like this before. I guess I want a happy life like theirs. I mean, it's different, in my case. I just want to be more positive, to be able to seek comfort, and from my aunts, they said that God will help. And I really want to grasp that belief. That God will fill the darkness in my heart. 

Now, I really sound so out of character. Even I am shocked about what I'm writing. 

I'm worried about one thing though. I'm doing this without the knowledge of my family. If they do know about this, they, especially my mum, will probably cut ties with me. This is such a great dilemma. Going to church meetings is like sneaking out to somewhere you shouldn't be at.