Tuesday, January 5, 2010 . 1/05/2010 11:14:00 PM

This is one of those many many times I thought, since I entered poly, "Just how come do I excel in subs that have nothing to do with my course, and suck when it does?"

Well, I do realise that I regret this choice of mine, but since it's my choice, I just have to go on. If not, my mum will never cease to let remember it's my choice.

In this short time of one year and nine months, I cried more times than my four years back in SJC. Fine, I'm a crybaby. My self-esteem is probably as low as the Marianas Trench. Probably why bullies love to pick on me.

On contradiction, I'm failing because of my pride. Most of the time I'm humiliated, all because of that traitorous pride in me. I'm sorry. To get an apology from me, is like piercing me through the heart with a knife. I so very want to do it but just not doing it. After almost nineteen years, Mum knows this trait of mine VERY well. Not surprising. I got it from her. 

Stupid pride. Stupid self-esteem. Stupid brain. Stupid personality. Stupid stubbornness. Stupid tears. Stupid choice. Stupid tests. Stupid me.

Let's just say, after graduation (if I do graduate), I'll never touch another chemical engineering subject again. I'll just go back to languages or geography.