Sunday, December 6, 2009 . 12/06/2009 01:49:00 AM

Okay. Just created this blog for the sake of replacing that blog full of painful memories. I'm sure this one will be filled with it too. I'll miss that blog though.

Well then. Let me introduce myself.

I'm Vivien, also known as Vi, Viv (which I still don't really like being called like that), JY, Jingyue or just "Girl".

I'm more inclined to dwelling on the bad things than the good ones. Well, I do try the opposite, but it usually ends in huge disappointment, thus the pessimism.

Well, my short short life includes practically every single element of a typical local drama. Family issues, financial issues, schooling issues, etc. I'm from a single-parent family, so don't mention the word "Father", "Dad" or "Papa" in front of me. But then again, I'm not so bad. Just don't direct a question involving those mentioned words above. Other than the aforementioned father, I'm rather close to my family. This doesn't mean I don't have the fair share of disagreements and disappointments. There's plenty of that in this family.

I'm not the richest girl around, so shopping is not my hobby. When you bring me out, I'll most probably get stuck to a bookstore or a media store more often than gushing over cute outfits (although I have the ability to do that when I can). Schooling... let's not talk about that.

I love writing. Even if I know how long-winded and disorganized I can get, I just have a love for words and expressed myself. And to let go of bottled-up feelings. I'm not so great with people. I already know my first impressions with people are pretty bad. My first week in poly already gave people the impression I'm arrogant, aloof, indifferent, blah blah blah. When the simple reason was I'm so terribly shy and terrified my face and mouth just froze. Ever experienced that before?

Because of how shy I am (okay, sometimes I don't give that impression, if there are people I know around), I have few friends compared to others. But these friends are my treasure, all so precious and important to me. Well, there's the saying "Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold," and it's very meaningful to me. I'll worry for them like a mother to a child, even if I don't speak or anything. I think it's because of this character of mine, my friends tend to treat me as a mother, doctor, nurse, caregiver, or something along that line. Not that I don't like it. It doesn't hurt that my dream is to be a good mother. Very LOL, right? But it's not wrong, right? Yeah. Just to let you know, I do love my friends, whether I talk to them often or not. That's the thing about friendship. It doesn't really involve that many words; just lots of feelings put into it.

I'm nice. I think. But I do have a lot of bad points in me. I have quite a temper. I'm rather depressing and pessimistic. I'm not very confident about myself. I'm lazy. I'm stubborn. And I hold a grudge. I do realize how bad all these can be to myself and others around me. And I've been trying to change. It's not easy... but I think I can do it (Now, where did all that confidence come from?)...